Guilt
by brunette89
Summary: DG is pregnant... and the father, our favorite Tin Man, is off at War. All she wants is for him to come home.


Dg stood in front of the kitchen sink and stared out the window, hand resting absent-mindedly on her bulging stomach. Not five minutes before, she had stormed into the kitchen in one of her pregnant rants and the staff had quickly cleared out, leaving her in peace. Everyone in the palace knew to leave her be.

She didn't blink very often, just stared. Dg wasn't crying; she had stopped crying a long time ago.

A small part of her believed that he would come back, which is why she stood by the window. She didn't even dare to think his name for fear that she would speak it and give herself away.

When the war began, he left like a good soldier should, and a week later, Dg told her mother that she was pregnant. Nobody doubted who the father was but Dg never confirmed or denied anything; she just withdrew from everyone.

A half hour went by and still Dg stood there blankly.

All at once, a smoky leather breeze circled her nose and someone slipped his arms gently around her waist to rest fatherly hands on her stomach. She knew this touch. He buried his nose in her hair and began to hum a nameless song in her ear. Dg leaned back against his sturdy chest and closed her eyes, smiling and resting her hands over the top of his.

"Deej?" Dg was jarred out of her daydream. She turned to see her sister as a guilty tear ran down her cheek.

She thought she was stronger than that.

"Are you okay?" Azkadellia asked, walking towards her, but Dg dodged the assured hug. She left the room quickly, pulling her forgotten shawl around her shoulders and making a beeline for the back stairs where she knew she wouldn't be followed.

When the door to the stairwell had been secured behind her, DG collapsed on the stairs, sobbing and grabbing the railing for support as she slid down the wall. She bit her hand hard to keep from crying out.

It was as if he had really been there, holding her in his arms.

As she sat there trying to stop crying, she heard footsteps approach and put her other hand over her mouth.

"Your majesty." Jeb.

"Mr. Cain." Her mother.

"I just received an urgent message from General Hanssen in the field… It seems that my… he… he's missing. There was an insurgency near Graccus and an entire resistance camp was burned to the ground. He wasn't among the dead and once the smoke cleared, he wasn't in those left alive either. General Hanssen believes that he might've been taken prisoner, but there's no telling whether… or not…" Jeb stopped and Dg nearly stopped breathing.

"I understand. Thank you for the update, Jeb."

"Wait… your majesty… I wonder if I might have your permission to assemble a recovery team to look for him… For her sake." Dg's face was once again flooded with hot tears. The Queen audibly sighed.

"For Dg… anything. Take whomever you need and notify Ambrose what supplies you need to take with you. Godspeed." Her heels clicked away. Dg kept her hands over her mouth as she listened for Jeb's boots walking away. Instead, he walked up to the door and put his hand on it. Dg let a barely audible sob escape as two very different emotions surged within her: despair that he might never return, and hope that he was just over the horizon. Jeb lightly patted the door and then walked away.

If Dg had been able to put her head between her knees, she would have, except that in that instant, as if in response to Dg's absolute heartbreak, a horrible pain shot through her abdomen. Right on cue, her water broke. Dg gasped and did the best she could to stand, but another contraction wracked through her, causing her to be thrown off balance. Thanks to the door, she was able to catch herself and she threw it open. A guard across the hallway saw her and she motioned for him to come over, which he did.

"Baby." That was all she got out and he nodded, helping her down the hall to her room. Dg would've been surprised to see Azkadellia in her room if she had been in her right mind, but for now, she was grateful for help. Az helped Dg into bed and sent the guard to fetch their mother and the midwife.

"Just breathe, Deej." Az soothed as she hurried to get a cold compress for Dg's forehead. Dg fought against every single contraction and thoughts of him poured into her head as Az put the washcloth on her hot skin.

***

Several difficult and laborious hours later, Dg sat against a stack of pillows holding a tiny bundle, hair wild and sticking to her face. She was happy to see the beautiful little girl asleep in her arms, but whenever the tiny princess opened her eyes, Dg had to look away.

The baby had her daddy's eyes.

At this very moment, Dg was trying to think of an adequate name for the child of a Tin Man and a Princess.

"Ava." Dg whispered and the baby simpered quietly, squirming in her mother's arms. Dg smiled. "Ava it is."

***

A few months later, Dg and Ava were getting along splendidly. Azkadellia pitched in with aunty duties when needed, but that wasn't often. Dg spent most of her time with her daughter. Ava had begun to smile, which was a favorite expression of Dg's.

Ava had her daddy's smile too.

Instead of grieving her, Ava helped Dg move back into the mainstream of life. Currently, Ava was asleep in her bassinet and her mother was asleep in her own bed. Dg drifted in and out of consciousness most of the time, never really falling into deep enough sleep to dream.

Those were the only things that still haunted her.

Dg heard a soft murmuring and it gently pulled her from sleep. Standing next to the bassinet was a sight she never thought she'd see again.

Wyatt Cain was rubbing his daughter's back as she cooed.

Dg put her hand to her mouth as silent tears began running down her face. She watched as he picked up the baby girl and tucked her in the crook of his arm. Ava began to fuss and he began humming gently to calm her. Sure enough, Ava stopped fussing and opened her eyes.

"Hey there, Princess." He whispered.

FIN


End file.
